Missing Things

A long long time ago i used to write here. A long long time ago i used to feel things more deeply. A long time ago i used talk about them. But now everything is different. Now everything seems less sentimental. I always have been rational, but it's like the years has passed and i became another person. I grew up. And time turned me tough.

You start to protect yourself from the other people, from the feelings, from the future. And sometimes i think i've lost my time to make mistakes. Sometimes i think i've skipped some steps. The time has escaped from my hands by my fingers. I never alowed myself to do wrong things. This persuit of the "perfect behavior", this fear of being someone i don't want to be like kills me. It stucks me. Sometimes i think, someday i'll freak out, and try to recover the lost time. I feel like I have become mature before time, before I knew the right way to be. It happened because somehow, people expected that.

It's not that i don't have feelings. I DO have, of course. Lot's of them. I just minimize them by my thoughs. I kind of know the consequence and control it. People say it's ok. It's the " emotinal inteligence". But I miss the time when it had passion in everything.

Many things has changed, but not my fear, not my thoughs. Maybe my feelings are still there, are still here... waiting the right (or not.. :D) time to be shown. All i know is that the TIME can be the medicine or the poison for our minds, for our hearts. We have to control the power of it in our lives. I have try to allow myself to be free of me. While it doesn't happen, I'll keep on fighting against me. Although I'm weak to fight against everything.

XOXO